Promise, a Niko POV story
by Obi the Kid
Summary: Niko POV. Takes place after Deathwish. A Niko/Promise conversation about Cal.


Title: Promise

Rating: PG

Author: Obi the Kid

Summary: Niko POV. Takes place after _Deathwish_.

Disclaimer: The characters of Cal, Niko and Promise belong to Rob Thurman. I make no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.

"Had it been real, Niko, what would you have done after you'd satisfied your revenge on those that killed him?"

"I would have joined him." I said it so simply. So matter-of-factly. As if making an every day decision.

"Without question? Without attempting to go with a life of your own?"

I figured Promise would ask the question at some point. We'd danced around the issue in the past. A week into our renewed relationship and over six months since I asked for space, she hit me with is front and center.

I didn't want to relive the past. I didn't want to rehash images of Cal's death. Images that had plagued my dreams for months on end. Cal's death had been nothing more than a trick played on my mind, but it had been so real. And since then, I had felt it and seen it over and over and over again whenever I closed my eyes to sleep. Finally, I was beginning to move beyond the emotional scarring.

Nevertheless, I wasn't surprised Promise asked the question.

Had Cal's death been real, had he truly been bludgeoned and torn to pieces and left for me to find on our apartment floor. Had he been ripped from my life, had I truly failed him for the first time, she wanted – needed - to know if I would have ended my life in order to walk with him into whatever awaited on the other side.

I'd told her in the past, if Cal went out, I would follow. Cal returned the same. Not in loyalty. Not in some angst-driven death pact. It was as simple as this: Without the other, there would be no reason - no will to continue. I lived to protect my little brother. He lived for me. I had worked my entire life to be stronger and smarter and better than I ever thought I could be. All to keep my brother safe. Cal continued to fight his monster-half demons because he knew I needed him. We fed to each other the strength we needed to live. All the hell we'd been through, we had plenty of opportunities to give up and call it a life. For us and us alone, we kept on. We were our only family. We were our lifelines. One would not survive without the other, even if that one tried.

So I answered Promise's question honestly. Would I have – without question - joined Cal in death?

My gray eyes bore into hers. "Yes. I would have finished what I had to do, and then if my enemy hadn't done me in, I would have ended my life on my own terms."

"No thought of me then in that whole grand scheme of final rights."

"I would think of you until my last second, Promise. Know that. But those thoughts of you would never change what I had to do."

"You couldn't bring yourself to move on without him? Not even with help from your friends. Me. Robin. We could help you, Niko."

"It's not a question of could, Promise. It's a question of would. I would not want to live without my brother."

She shifted position on the couch, taking my hand in hers. "He loves you, Niko. More than anything. Deep down, he would want you to move on from his death. To have a life of your own."

I didn't like where this was going. I gave Promise a brief but hard glare. "Promise, please. Don't question me about my choices. You know what Cal is to me. I raised him from the time he was a minute old. I was a toddler then. A four-year-old. I didn't know what the hell I was doing. How the hell does a child not even in the first grade, care for a newborn baby? But I figured it out because there was no way Cal was going back into the hands of that woman. Cal was mine. I would be responsible for his life. I would raise him the best I could and protect him the same."

"He's a grown man now, Niko. You don't have to raise him anymore. He's quite capable of handling his life. You have to take this time for you now. Especially after these last six months."

I shook my head and sighed, keeping my voice controlled and level. "You don't understand, Promise. And it's hard to completely explain. Yes, he's an adult. Yes, he can handle his own life. Yes, I should take time for me. But I can't break what ties us." I took a deep settling breath. "I changed his diapers. I taught him to walk and read and write. I made sure he had lunch every day for school. I made sure his walk to and from school was safe. I kept Sophia away from him as much as I could. I comforted him when she mentally or emotionally abused him. I punished him when he did wrong. I praised him when he did right. I held him when he cried. I was there, Promise. When Sophia was off drinking or whoring or gambling away our food money, I was there. He spent his entire childhood hearing that he was a monster. He turned five and saw the Auphe for the first time – then he _knew_ it was true. There was no more innocence in his life. Do you have any idea about the psyche of a five-year-old when he begins to understand that his monster lives _in_ him and not under his bed? I wish you could understand. I was all he had growing up. He was all I had. That doesn't end because he's an adult. If anything, it only gets stronger. I will always protect him. And if his death comes before mine, he'll not be alone in it. He will never be that alone. That may mean that we're both as screwed up emotionally as they come, but that's how it'll have to be. We've both made our decision."

When I finished, I licked my lips and released another deep breath. My throat was dry. I wasn't a talker. But I laid it all out as best as I could. My tone stayed even throughout. Promise listened to and heard every word. In the end, she offered me one of her killer sweet smiles.

"You were everything to him. Brother. Father. Mother. Teacher. Protector. All wrapped up in one package."

"I did the best I could."

"You did a fine job, Niko. He's a good man."

"Not perfect though. He's a slob. Eats like a pig. Has the mouth of a sailor. He's angry and somewhat difficult to like sometimes, even for me."

"Siblings are like that from what I understand. At least human ones."

"True. But I would die for him in a second. And he the same for me. That's probably a quality a bit tougher to find in siblings."

"Many would say it, few would act on it. So, where does that leave us?"

"Beginning from where we left off. Perhaps putting some of the past behind us. You waited for me, Promise. Another wouldn't have done that. Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, any tension between us now gone. I was going to be what I had to be for my brother. Those decisions and promises were made years ago and were based on blood and family. They wouldn't be broken, even in death. Promise had decided to come along for the ride. Of course she had no idea what she was getting into when this all started. She was well aware now. And I felt good about releasing some of my pent up words. It was good to have a shoulder to lean on after leaning on my own for so long.

Looking after Cal wasn't the easiest job on the planet. Hell, how many brothers would have given him up long ago? Most, probably. Not me. That's not who I am. I made a promise to him twenty-one years ago. A promise that I would keep him safe. I put no time limit on it. No conditions. Cal was my blood. My family. My little brother. There was nothing that could or would ever separate us. Not even death. That was just the way it had to be.

I began to lose my thoughts as Promise worked a hand massage through my hair. I felt myself giving into her will. Something I so desperately craved. It had been much too long apart, but it had been time needed.

Now I needed Promise to help me find that tiny little piece of myself still missing.

Cal would be fine. My promise to him was still woven tightly between us.

But this type of promise, my mind and body in the arms of the remarkable woman who had waited for me and been patient with me – this Promise was for me.

END


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